The fact is that whenever we approach someone socially, we face the risk of being rejected. Everyone can experience the rejection, sometimes. The only person who has never experienced rejection is the one that has never communicated with other people. And that is impossible, right?
How difficult can be rejection?
First of all, the people find it very difficult to overcome rejection because that is never a fun experience.
If you experience the rejection, you may often ask yourself many questions. Am I condemned to eternal rejection? Am I not good enough? Do you see rejection as a sign that no one will ever like you? And many people react this way. This prevents them from establishing the social relationships they want.
But can we look to the rejection exclusively from that angle? It also happens that even people with great self-esteem, who come out often and are socially active, sometimes experience rejection.
The difference is that socially self-confident people are not deeply affected by rejection. And they don’t blame themselves. Also, they don’t see dismissal as something they miss and they see rejection as something trivial.
For people who are shy, rejection can be a long-lasting and emotionally traumatic experience.
Further Reading: How to Overcome Loneliness After a Breakup
Rejection can be so ugly word
One of the reasons why our refusal provokes so many problems is that in our mind we often associate refusal with other ugly words that cause us even more pain. We feel humiliated, inadequate, useless, insufficient, poor and lonely.
The more we look at the negative aspects of rejection, we will experience more unnecessary pain. And it will be more difficult for us to establish communication next time.
Socially successful people tend to attribute all credit for their success to themselves. Also, when they are rejected, they usually blame another person.
This is a pure contrast to the reactions of shy and lonely people. Shy and lonely people tend to accuse every one of their guilt if they fail to connect with someone. It even happens to think that something is wrong with others if you accept them!
Refusal is far more worrying for people who are very emotionally sensitive. That has low self-esteem, or have had bad experiences in childhood.
Further Reading: How to Overcome Love Failure
Here are some of the ways that these people react to rejection:
- They fear the rejection far more than socially self-confident people.
- The probability of rejection as a painful and degrading experience is greater.
- Assuming that they are completely guilty if someone rejects them.
- Interpretation of a social rejection as proof that they are guilty or inaccurate.
- It is very likely to assume rejection even when it didn’t occur.
- Avoiding a social interaction if they suspect that rejection can occur.
- Also, if they believe that if someone rejects them, they will reject everyone else, until the end of their miserable life.
How else can we overcome the rejection?
Even if you are very emotional or shy, not everything is that bad. You can still change the ways you think about rejection if you have not received emotional support while growing up.
A person with a healthy self-confidence understands that taking occasional social and emotional risks is necessary for the development of social relationships. If someone rejects them, they don’t get it personally. They just go on and look for someone who will be more receptive.
Further Reading: 8 Nifty Hacks for Getting Over a Breakup
Here is a brief overview of the steps you can take to overcome your fear of rejection:
- Remind yourself why you want to overcome the fear of rejection. Remember that your goal is to have a happy social life.
- Change the thoughts of rejection that are going through your head. Don’t value yourself solely for how many people have accepted or rejected you.
- Establish many social interactions with other people.
- Take a set of mini-steps in establishing interactions.
- You may need a lot of practice to change your opinion about the rejection. Regularly remember that the end result will be worth the effort.
When we interact with other people, the fear of rejection not only brings us pain and inconvenience. It also deprives us of the warmth, comfort, fun, and excitement that other human beings can provide us. So, if you never place yourself in a situation where they can say “no”, you will never get into a situation where someone can say “yes”.